I'm back and I've got a delicious little festive recipe to share with you all.

I'm finally starting to feel more human now I'm out of the first trimester so I decided there was no time like the present and I needed to get back in to my happy place and baking again.

I actually spotted this recipe on Brown Eyed Baker's blog and apart from reducing the quantity, I left the recipe as it was. If it's not broke why fix it right?

In these final few weeks before Christmas time is precious so you don't want to spend ages in the kitchen when you could be inahling mince pies or watching Love Actually for the 100th time. Thankfully this Snickerdoodle Fudge can be whipped up in 10 minutes and all you need to do is leave it to set in the fridge for a couple of hours - easy!

Snickerdoodle Fudge

1 tin of condensed milk

550g white chocolate

1.5 tsp vanilla extract

2 tbsp sugar

½ tsp cinnamon 

Line a 20cm quare tin in clingfilm
Melt the milk and chocolate in a pan over a low heat. As it melts it will become thicker but keep stirring.
Add in the vanilla extra
Pour into the prepared tin
Leave to chill in the fridge for 2 hours or more
Once firm mix the sugar and cinnamon together
Scatter over the fudge
Chop into small pieces

Enjoy!

Baby Longley No2 is on the way! Our little bean should be fully baked in early June and we cannot wait to meet our newest addition.

It's been a lot harder this time round compared to when I was pregnant with Ethan. Mix in life with a toddler and our busiest time of year at work has meant I have just about got through each day. The tiredness has been tough and the sickness much more intense although thankfully I haven't thrown up. I've just felt constantly run down and nauseous!

I also had some bleeding at 6/7 weeks and we were sent for an early scan. Both of us were so worried but our little bean was just fine. It also made us so anxious for the 12 week scan as we had already seen him/her and it meant the longing for baby to be ok was even more intense.

Last time we went into it blind with that hopeful optimism that comes with being first time parents. Now we have Ethan we know how amazing this rollercoaster of parenting is and can't bare the thought of anything going wrong.

Roll on June, keep growing little one, we can't wait to meet you!

This month:

I was working away in London for a couple of days

Ethan upgraded from a Gro Bag to a toddler duvet and pillow

Ethan and I enjoyed a weekend away back in Ireland for my mum's 60th Birthday

Tom took advantage of said weekend away to tackle the task of painting the stairs and hallway

My bestie came over for an evening catchup and to indulge in the Bake Off semi-final

We finally paid a visit to the Square and Compass for a delicious Saturday lunch

Tom enjoyed a week off work for half term

Tom and Ethan spent some father-son time together during half term including a trip to the Air Museum

I made our nephew a Bradford City cake and we enjoyed a family tea to celebrate his birthday

We took a trip to the pumpkin patch at Birchfield Farm to get Ethan his first pumpkin

Ethan missed the memo on the clocks changing resulting in a few 5am starts

We went out for a midweek curry to the best curry house in Leeds

Ethan loved all the Trick or Treaters coming to visit

Gosh, October was a lot busier than expected. November sees me working down in London (again!), two weekends with friends and hopefully making a dent in the Christmas shopping.

Make sure you check out Lucy's blog for all of the other Me and Mine families.

6am and the alarm goes off. I groggily reach for my phone and press snooze hoping to catch another 10 minutes before I have to get up. I feel myself drifting off then a yell from across the hall rouses me from my slumber.

I sleepily stumble into Ethan's room, scoop him up for a cuddle and take him back to our room. We snuggle together for a few minutes then I pop CBeebies on the tv - for once I'm glad Tom has won the argument for a tv in the bedroom. Ethan is engrossed by Baby Jake while I slip downstairs, place a crumpet in the toaster and fill up his cup with milk.

Glancing at the clock I see we have an hour to get ready before we have to leave at 7:15am.

I'm wide awake now and armed with his beloved crumpet and milk I make my way back upstairs where Ethan has not moved from the comfort of our bed and Tom is pressing snooze on his alarm.

The shower goes on, I grab a towel and quickly hop in getting washed in record time. I'm brushing my teeth as I hear Tom get up and he sticks his head in to the bathroom to say Ethan is still happily watching tv and he's heading downstairs to have breakfast.

I quickly slap on some makeup, tie my hair up in a pony and pull on a frock while at the same time trying to stop a hyper toddler from climbing over me. All I want to do dear boy is to sit and play but instead I'm distracting you with things allowing me time to finish getting ready.

Again I glance at the clock and it's 6:50am. Time to get Ethan ready for nursery. I change his nappy, pull on some clothes and bring him downstairs with me. Teletubbies is now on so he will sometimes sit and watch but more often than not realises I'm not in the room and comes in to the kitchen to find me. I'm pouring out some cereal, making sure I've got my lunch and that he has spare clothes in his nursery bag.

Tom makes his way downstairs, he gets Ethan's shoes and coat and puts them on while I quickly eat my bowl of Weetabix. There is a last minute glance around as the clock reaches 7:15am it's time for a quick cuddle before Tom takes him to nursery and I head to work.

As I'm sat in traffic I'm wondering did drop off going ok, was Ethan upset and hoping he has a nice day. Just before 8am I pull into work and make my way across the car park to my office. I switch my computer on, check emails, write out my to do list, respond to a few texts from my mama crew and now it's time to be Clare and not mum for the next 8 hours.

Mid morning I reach into my bag for a snack and my hand brushes over Ethan's toy aeroplane. My mind wanders to him and wondering how his day is going. All I want is to be with him but instead I torment my colleagues with tales of his recent escapades. I hope you're having a lovely time at nursery baby boy.

As the day progresses I glance at the clock wishing away the time until 4:30pm when I can leave and pick up my little man. My eyes linger on the photo of Ethan at nursery that is pinned to the bottom of my monitor. Are you happy baby boy? I hope you aren't missing us too much.

Eventually it's 4:30pm and I'm out the door. 20 minutes later I pull up at nursery and I can't get to Ethan quick enough. He notices me the minute I walk in and runs across the room to me, arms outstretched with the biggest smile on his face. His keyworker tells me all about how great his day has been then it's time for goodbyes (until tomorrow) and we make our way home.

By the time we've battled through rush hour traffic it's 5:20pm when I pull up outside. Tom isn't back yet so we make our way indoors, discard the coats and shoes before flopping on the sofa for a bit. I start thinking about dinner but then wonder should I leave it to later and play with Ethan instead. I realise I'm starving so decide to start prepping the food while he sits next to me and has a snack.

Juggling a toddler who has missed his mama all day while trying to cook dinner is hard but now he's getting older he's happy to try and help me in the kitchen whether he's pinching peppers off the chopping board or raiding the cupboard for a mixing bowl and whisk.

6pm and Tom walks in. Suddenly Mama is forgotten in favour of Daddy but that distraction gives me time to plate up dinner. We sit on the sofa to eat as Ethan had his tea at nursery. He pinches the odd thing off our plate but is more interested in watching the latest antics of Iggle Piggle and Upsy Daisy.

As 7pm approaches Tom takes Ethan upstairs to run his bath. I fill up his milk cup and load the dishwasher. I hear splashing and giggles coming from above then make my way up to see what chaos awaits me.

Tom gets Ethan dried and into his pyjamas. I have some night night cuddles then I leave them too it and make my way downstairs picking up scattered bits of clothing and toys as I go. I quickly finish tidying up and as I sink into that corner bit of the sofa that is the comfiest part Tom walks in to the lounge. He flops onto the sofa too and we finally have a chance to chat about our day.

Sometimes I catch up on Neighbours (my guilty pleasure), other times we watch a bit of TV together. Tonight I'm doing some blog work while Tom is engrossed in the latest political story on the news.

In no time at all it's 9:30pm and both of us are yawning. Time to head up to bed before the day starts all over again or Ethan decides to waken for a midnight party...

It's tough and I guess the one phrase that sums it all up is mum guilt. I feel guilty leaving Ethan at nursery in the care of strangers, I feel guilty at the office when I'm leaving earlier than everyone else and only working a 4 day week (even though I often feel like I'm cramming 5 days work in to 4 days), I feel guilty when I have to work away and don't see my boys for a few days, I feel guilty when I've to take time off when Ethan is poorly. No matter what I do I always feel guilty.

Being a working mum is hard, it's a constant juggling act and if I'm not organised I know all those plates will come crashing down. I always wonder am I doing the right thing for Ethan being back at work but in my heart of hearts I know I am. By working we can afford a few luxuries, trips back to Ireland to visit my family and to live in a nice house. Ethan gets to mix with different children and adults, have experiences that I would never think of giving him at home (hello messy play) and as a result has become such a confident and well rounded little boy.

Part of me wishes we could spend more time together as these years are too precious and fleeting but I've now realised that instead of focusing on what we don't have I look at what we do have. My Fridays off are so special to me and every six weeks Tom is off on school holidays where he gets lots of bonus time with his boy.

I think no matter what we do we always feel guilty but at least we know we are doing our best.

Being a working mum is hard. I feel like I'm constantly spinning lots of plates - have I achieved my to do list in work/is the house clean/has the laundry been done/when will we do the food shop/are the enough nappies and snacks in for Ethan?? The list goes on and on...

Tom works longer hours than me and often works at home too so I find myself taking on more of the household responsibilities although he does do all of the DIY, bins and car maintenance. 

Anyway, I digress.... One thing I find myself having to keep a closer eye on now we have Ethan is food and making sure we always have something healthy that he can munch on. Usually by the time Friday rolls around (my day off) we are fairly low on fresh food and need to do a grocery shop but the little man needs to eat. I don't like the idea of him living off crackers or rice cakes and this is where savoury muffins come to the rescue. Packed full of veggies, these delicious snacks have a few simple ingredients that are ideal for little tummies.

Even better, once they are baked and cooled they can be placed in a zip lock bag or tupperware tub and popped in the freezer. Just take out however many you need a few hours in advance and leave on the side to defrost. There has been many a Friday when I've congratulated my past self for filling the freezer with toddler snacks such as these muffins or pinwheels.

It was actually my friend Sara that gave me the recipe but I've no idea of it's origin. It so adaptable though, you could easily add some peas, sweetcorn or diced carrot for added nutrition.

Cheesy Courgette Muffins

187g SR Flour

250g grated cheddar

1 tbsp parmesan

1/4 tsp mixed herbs

Half a courgette, grated

187ml milk

1 egg, whisked

Preheat the oven to 160C (fan)

Line a 12 hole muffin tin

Place the grated courgette in a tea towel and squeeze out the excess water

Mix the flour, cheese, herbs and courgette together

Stir in the milk and beaten egg

Divide between the 12 muffin cases

Bake in the oven for 20 minutes until golden and a skewer inserted comes out clean

Enjoy!

A fudgy chocolate brownie with a layer of Malteser spread and crushed Maltesers on top - need I say more?

Malteser Brownies

• Preheat the oven to 170C (fan)
• Grease and line a 20cm square cake tin
• Melt the butter and chocolate in a heatproof bowl over a pan of simmering water
• Whisk the sugar and eggs until doubled in volume
• Fold in the melted chocolate and butter mix
• Fold in the flour
• Pour the mixture into the tin
• Place in the oven and bake for 30 – 35 minutes until crackly on top with a slight wobble
• Leave to cool for 10 minutes
• Warm the Malteser spread in the microwave for 20 seconds so it is at a pourable consistency
• Pour over the tray of brownies
• Scatter across the crushed Maltesers
• Place in the fridge for a few hours to fully cool and firm up

Enjoy!

I ended my last post talking about our journey and first full day where we went to Arromanches and the American cemetery at Omaha beach.

Tom told me that the British Cemetery would feel different to the other ones that we had visited and to be honest I didn't believe him but he was right. It was a lot more relaxed and happier which is a strange sentence to type when I'm discussing somewhere that holds the bodies of hundreds of men but it's true. There were children running between the gravestones searching for names while older people stopped every so often to remember a particular loved one.

Nothing beats baking something delicious and then seeing the recipients face as they tuck into a slice (or two) of cakey goodness.

Over the summer we had my parents and two of my brothers come to visit. They had been down in London as it was Stephen's graduation then decided to come on up to Leeds and spend a few days with us (or more Ethan) before flying back to Belfast. I wanted to make Stephen a nice cake to celebrate finishing a long year in London gaining his PGCE but the big sister in me also wanted to make sure he had some nice home baking to enjoy as you don't get that in student halls.

I haven't made a Bundt in ages and my tins are just sat in the cupboard gathering dust so I decided now was the perfect time to whip one out and remind myself why I love these tins so much. Gosh, typing up this post is making me want to bake another one, maybe for the weekend, hmmm....

Anyway! My go to website for Bundts is always Dollybakes blog where she has made Bundts in almost every flavour combination available. I decided to fiddle with her recipe for a Toffee Choc Bundt and adapted it to suit the use of Biscoff spread instead. All I can say it oh my! I could have easily face planted this whole cake, it was scrumptious.

Stephen loved it too and between all of us we made good work of demolishing this cake over the 4 days that my family stayed with us.

Congrats on qualifying as a teacher Stephen, finally Tom has someone else to talk shop with haha...


Biscoff Bundt

I joined CCC in 2012; my first event was actually the day the Olympic Torch came through Leeds (I remember going to see it with my bestie Rhianne before heading to cake club). I used to attend the events in the city centre and in Headingley as I worked nearby and when we moved to Otley I also joined Wharfedale.

I hadn't been a member of Wharfedale for long when a call was put out by the then organiser Kathryn for someone to help. For 2 years we ran the club together, sourcing venues, recruiting members and hosting all manner of events. 

In 2015 Kathryn decided to step down and I took over full running of the club (while planning a wedding!) and for a while things were ticking along nicely. We had our regulars, events took place every six weeks or so but then numbers started to drop and I had to cancel the odd event. Before long Ethan arrived and time was not on my side. Interest in the club was not the same as it was but from speaking to a few other organisers I knew they were facing the same issue. 

My good friend Amy (who I actually met through CCC) offered to help with the organising but even with two of us, we still struggled with numbers for events. Amy then said she had got a new job and was moving away (boo!) so we made the decision to both step down and hand the reins over to someone else.

I had been toying with the possibility of standing down for ages but didn't have the heart to admit defeat. Even with Amy's help it felt like the club was slowly disintegrating but we knew the time was right to leave. I feel sad about it as CCC was a massive part of my life for so long and without it I wouldn't have had a recipe published, had some fantastic opportunities and most of all met some wonderful people that I now class as dear friends.

To mark our final event, we all got together at Outside the Box cafe in Ilkey. It's a gem of a place that provides work for many people with disabilities. I wanted to make a special cake to mark the occasion so I decided to wing it in the kitchen (as always!) and opted for a Chocolate Crunchie Cake. I tried to turn it in to a drip cake but I think the ganache was a little too thick...

Ganache
150ml double cream
100g dark chocolate
50g milk chocolate

Heat the cream until warm but not hot
Mix in the chocolate and once smooth and glossy set aside to cool and firm up

Cake
2.5 cups SR Flour
2 cups soft dark brown sugar (although any sugar will be fine)
1 cup cocoa
1 cup veg/sunflower oil
1.5 cups of milk
1tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
3 eggs

Preheat your oven to 160C (fan)
Grease and line two 20cm cake tins
Pop all the ingredients in a bowl and whisk until smooth
Divide between the two tins and bake for 40mins or until a skewer inserted comes out clean
Tip onto a wire rack to cool

Buttercream
200g softened unsalted butter
500g icing sugar
3 tbsp cocoa
a few tbsp milk (to combine if needed)

Cream the butter, icing sugar and cocoa on a high speed for around 5 minutes until light and fluffy

If required, add the milk slowly to loosen the buttercream 

To Decorate

4 Crunchies

Chocolate honeycomb pieces (I got a bag from Asda)

Once cool level off the cake

Sandwich together the two sponges with some buttercream and a scattering of chopped up crunchie 

Coat the outside of the cake in the remaining buttercream

Pop in the fridge to firm up

Pour over the ganache encouraging it to pour down the sides of the cake (it may need a quick zap in the microwave to be the right consistency) 

Tumble over the remaining Crunchie and honeycomb pieces

Enjoy!

CCC is fantastic, a truly fantastic club set up by the amazing Lynn Hill. I'm still going to try and make it to other local clubs for future events and hopefully Wharfedale will find a new organiser so that more people can experience this the wonder that is The Clandestine Cake Club.